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Control

How To Stop Trying To Control Everything Part 2

It is always the false that makes you suffer, the false desires and fears, the false values and ideas, the false relationships between people. Abandon the false and you are free of pain; truth makes happy, truth liberates.” Nisargadatta Maharaj In Part 1, we talked about how control is like a compulsion. It feels uncontrollable, it’s rooted in fear and

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Control

How To Stop Trying To Control Everything Part 1

Here’s a measure of “progress.” What have you let go of today? What have you said and meant “Fuck it” to today? Each letting go is a relief, a move toward increased tranquility, awareness, a joy and fulfillment. A Mentor A mother brings her child to Gandhi to seek counsel because the child is eating too much candy. Gandhi tells

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Mindfulness

Stepping Back with Awareness

Waking up is not an end to our neuroses, it just puts an end to them being a personal obstacle that must be overcome. – Joan Tollifson Oftentimes, we get rigidly tied to a definition of self. That definition could be positive in the case of “I am an attractive person” or negative in the case of “I am dumb

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Compassion

The Stable Ground of Self-Compassion

Be a Compassionate Mess. Kristen Neff Have you ever had that person in your life whom you can tell loved you just by the way he or she looked at you? They can be almost embarrassingly doting at times, but when you are in their presence, all your rough edges feel a little smoother. Why is it so hard for

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Anxiety

The Wisdom to Know the Difference

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  Serenity Prayer A while back, a client told me, “I’m not sure if I’m cured.” He said this after having made major changes in his life. He had stopped destructive tendencies and started healthier

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Men's Happiness

Why Modern Man is Unhappy & What He Can Do About It Part 3

In Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, we talked about the struggle that our hunter-gatherer brains have in making sense of this modern world. At every turn, there seems to be a shiny object that we have been led to believe will be the silver bullet that brings contentment, but so often we are left with disappointment and

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